The devious kitchen master [Alfred] [Crack thread]

[Matthew Williams]

Matthew let out a monstrous yawn as he flipped of the television from his lazy position on the couch. He watched another one of those History Channel specials about Vikings and their relation to modern day genetics, and as he had found it had been about just as informative as a potato. He'd watched similar documentaries nearly a million times and probably knew all there was to know about vikings. Still every time he tuned in with hopes of something new to be learned.

The blonde pushed himself up off the couch, it had been a lazy morning. Not that the Canadian minded, he had the day off and he'd spend it how it wanted dammit. Even if that meant shoving ice-cream in his face until he couldn't move anymore. Matthew tended to be a little bit of a hermit when it wasn't the weekend. Otherwise he would have probably been long gone off to whiter hills where he could practice on his board.
Snowboarding was probably one of the few things he was actually passionate about. Everything else always seemed so blase in comparison. The adrenaline rush always hit him like a chilly breeze on a fall day. He loved it, the people around it, and one day he had a secret pipe dream to compete in the winter olympics rather than those rinky dink competitions he signed up for most days. They were fun, but not quite as thrilling as something big, something televised. Since of course it was mid-week he really had nothing better to do on this fine day. Sitting on his ass all day seemed like an awesome one day vacation.

Of course that was until the beast in the room over woke up.

Matthew sauntered over to the kitchen hunger in his stomach but nothing really coming to mind. Maybe he'd make pancakes? That's what he usually did on mornings like these. Something sweet to start the day off, and knowing his brother he'd probably skip breakfast if it wasn't already made so he'd start the process at least. Matthew pulled out two bowls and started mixing together his dry ingredients in one and wet in another. He put the pan on the stove, turned on the heat and sprayed the pan with Pam. Most importantly he put a little almond extract in. It was his secret ingredient, but in good measure. A drop too much and they would taste awful.

He spent about twenty minutes making breakfast for the two of them. He may have also made his first and put just a couple too many drops of almond extract in his brother's batter. To ruin it of course.Nonetheless the aroma filled the room and made the room feel warm and drowsy. It was how all mornings should have felt. Matthew only grinned deviously to himself, and placed the skillet in the sink before picking up his own plate and pouring an excessive amount of maple syrup on the plate.

This would certainly be an interesting morning.

[Alfred F. Jones]

Alfred had woken up a little bit groggy. It was one of his few days off, so he'd slept in a few hours longer than normal. He stretched his arms above his head, making them pop as he yawned a bit louder than was necessary. Alfred wasn't planning on having breakfast. Usually he skipped it and just went to work or he would sneak off to McDonald's for his morning coffee. However, this morning he smelled food being prepared in the kitchen. He grinned widely because that meant his brother was making breakfast. Which usually meant pancakes.

Matthew made the best pancakes on the planet. If Alfred had the chance, he would make Mattie his personal chef and have pancakes every day for breakfast. And today, his brother was nice enough to make them for him before he even woke up!

Alfred scrambled out of bed and pulled on a pair of plaid pajama bottoms he kept around so that Mattie wouldn't have the embarrassment of seeing him running around in his boxers, especially if he had friends over. He nearly tripped over them 3 times before finally managing to get them and an over-sized tshirt on so that he could roam out to the pantry area and sit in one of the many little island bar-stools they had.

He bounced happily in place. Alfred was most definitely a morning person. He dumped maple syrup all over his plate, effectively making a puddle of the stuff and put a perfect little square of butter on each pancake. He then began digging into his breakfast. Today's breakfast seemed to be much better than usual! It tasted like almonds and happiness and warm all at once. "Wow Mattie! These are even better than they usually are! You should so make them again sometime!" He grinned at his brother, with his mouth full and cheeks puffed up like a hamster. Today was gonna be a great day.

[Matthew Williams]

Matthew snickered when his twin brother burst out of his bedroom the moment he had set the plate down on the table. That was something that was so typically Alfred, waking up the moment food reached his nose. At least it was something cooked, even if it was slightly ruined on his part. Usually Alfred wouldn't eat anything or grab McDonalds even. Matthew mentally shuddered. Anyone who thought that fast food deemed as nutritious sustenance probably didn't have to brain cells to know any different from eating it.

He watched apprehensively, albeit secretly as Alfred bounced up to the counter and hopping up on the bar stool a wide grin donning his slightly chubby cheeks. Nothing was amiss not in Alfred's world, but he would soon get a rude awakening. Matthew cackled internally, making his brother's life miserable was simply too much fun. Sure it probably wasn't a healthy coping mechanism, but Matthew wasn't quite ready to fix his problem yet.

So instead he gazed intently at his brother as he poured nearly a gallon of syrup on his pancakes ready to dig in and promptly astound him. Astound him with his pitiful lack of taste that was. Nothing seemed to phase the older twin and in fact Alfred seemed pleased with Matthew's purposeful mistake. Which only lead to a seed being planted.

Was his cooking really that bad? So much so that excessive almond extract made his food taste better? He had been wounded.
Matthew's expression fell slightly, and he let out a forced chuckle. “You really think it tastes that good? You could say I tried something new. I didn't expect it to turn out.”

He put another tiny stack of pancake in his mouth reveling in the taste and thinking of another trick to ruin his brother's day. Maybe he'd trade his toothpaste for lotion? Or bleach his favorite pair of jeans? Spill juice on his shirt? There were so many choices, one failed attempt would not ruin his good mood. Matthew turned around to the fridge, pulling out some Welch's grape juice and pouring himself a glass.

“How did you sleep last night Al?” A good breakfast always made him thirsty, but now he would decide what to do with the day. “And what are you going to do today? I feel like we should be doing something with this rare mid-week day off.”


Matthew set the glass down on the island, dangerously within spillage range of either of their arms, and then leaned over propping his elbow up on the counter to hold his head in the palm of his hand.

[Alfred F. Jones]

Alfred ate really fast, so it didn't come as a surprise that he was nearly shoveling all his food down his mouth at a rapid pace. They were the best things he'd ever had. When he finished, he set the empty plate a little to the side and just sat there basking for a moment. He kicked his feet, swinging his legs on the little barstool. He was so happy to have a normal weekday off so that he could spend it bonding with his little brother.

With Mattie making pancakes this morning, that meant he was just as excited to see him too, right? So their day was already off to a great start! Alfred's mood was already fantastic and he was sure nothing could possibly ruin his day right now.

When Mattie poured a glass of juice and set it on the counter across from him, that did not deter Al from moving. His metabolism kept him moving all the time and wasn't something he could particularly stop from happening. "I slept great, bro! How about you? Didn't stay up too late watchin' hockey, didja?" Alfred beamed at him.

When he was asked what he wanted to do with the day, he just got more excited. "I dunno! We could just stay at home and play video games....NO WAIT. What if we went to a theme park?! We could ride a huge roller coaster and then barf all over everything afterwards!" He sat up and slammed his hands down on the counter, effectively toppling the drink over when his hands brushed by it. "Or we could go to a water park and pick up hot chicks or dudes or whatever it is that you like to have sex with!" And then he noticed the glass that had been knocked over in his speech. "Oh shit! I'm sorry! I'll pour you another glass! That wasn't heroic at all!"
He jumped up and ran over to the fridge to retrieve more juice.